My dad has cancer
#41 – my father has cancer
Good day, Nikkiga. My father died a few years ago; he didn’t die of cancer, but he had been sick for some time. He never wanted to cause anybody any problems. I lived 300 miles away from him, and he would tell me that he didn’t want me to go so far to see him. I dismissed it, and I believe he secretly enjoyed the fact that I (and my sister, who also lived a long way away) wanted to see him again. Are you doing well at work? Only you can say if taking time off will make you feel better or if you’d only be wasting more time thinking on your own. It is, without a doubt, a terrible time to be going through, and we can only do our best and what feels good to us. I was sad because I knew my father was dying, but I felt better knowing I was doing the best I could and doing what felt good to me. But it’s stressful, and I hope your friends and coworkers are there to help you; most of us have to deal with the loss of a parent. You mention you don’t know anybody who has been through what you’re going through; I presume you’re referring to your father’s long illness. However, I am sure that there are people on this platform who have cared for their parents during a long cancer illness, and I hope that some of them will be able to talk with you.
Walking with my dad after prostate cancer
My father has been in excruciating pain since September 2017 and has received no answers despite repeated visits to a variety of doctors. Finally, a growth near his trigeminal nerve, which regulates facial muscles, chewing, and other functions, was discovered to be the cause of his discomfort. Trigeminal neuralgia, the type of pain he was feeling, is sometimes referred to as the “suicide condition,” and it nearly killed him on its own. In January, after months of back-and-forth with different doctors and the VA (my father was in the Navy), he was eventually diagnosed with salivary cancer at UCSF. Yes, the same cancer that claimed the life of Beastie Boys member Adam Yauch.
He’s had three surgeries in the last seven months, two of which were over eight hours long. He had one branch of his trigeminal nerve, a salivary gland, a lymph node, and a portion of the back of his nose removed in his final surgery. My father started six weeks of radiation, concentrating on his mouth, two weeks after the surgery. When it’s not concentrated on your brain, radiation is also thought to be a less intense alternative than chemotherapy. It gives you a sunburn both inside your mouth and around your head five days a week when it’s on your head. My father has lost a lot of facial feeling, his ability to taste something, and his ability to chew.
My dad has prostate cancer, and he’s a medical
Keeping up in school, university/TAFE, or at work when a parent is sick can be difficult. It can be difficult to get there on certain days. It’s much more complicated when your mother or father is in the hospital for treatment. You may be juggling hospital visits with other obligations such as sports training, homework/assessment, or jobs, as well as taking on additional duties at home. Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you can’t visit as much as you’d like; your parents will understand and want you to do other things as well.
It can be a relief to go to school. It can be a place where you can see your friends, do normal things, and momentarily forget about your cancer. Going to school while a parent is sick, on the other hand, can be very stressful. It may be difficult to find time or energy for school if you’re going back and forth to the hospital, taking on more duties around the home, and helping to care for your mother or father and possibly the rest of your family. You will skip classes, be unable to complete your homework, and begin to fall behind.
So my dad has terminal cancer ::
My father was diagnosed with Hairy Cell Leukemia, a rare blood cancer, when I was eighteen years old and a freshman in college. My father started to feel exhaustion and moderate depression. The diagnosis didn’t arrive until his platelets were so poor that he needed to be admitted to the hospital right away.
To put things in perspective, my parents married when they were eighteen years old. My brother and I were born when they were both in their early twenties. My father worked sixty hours a week as a truck driver. That was before he worked on our family farm for twenty hours.
I knew my father loved me as a kid, but I also sensed that his top priority was his job. Our family spent a lot of time on the farm, grinding feed, cleaning animal pens, harvesting corn, and cutting firewood.
I didn’t know what to think when my father was diagnosed with cancer. I recall having a cough and staying away from him when he was in the hospital. When I went to see him, I brought a tiny basketball hoop that I hung on the door so we could shoot hoops together. His expression when he saw me enter the room has stayed with me to this day. He was ecstatic that I turned up. In that moment, I could see how much he cared for me.